Over the past couple of years, I’ve been doing some soul searching about my own purpose. I am amazed by people who know they have a singular purpose that drives them. I have never quite felt that, and it’s been a source of confusion for me.
At some point, I realized that worrying so much about having a purpose was maybe just me getting in my own way. I decided I’d just welcome more flow into my life, to go with my instincts and use my gifts in ways that felt meaningful.
I started organically planning gatherings for women – spaces for being social, learning, tapping into something larger than ourselves, celebrating the wheel of the year. It felt natural, and important for my own heart and soul. That was my norm for a few years, with some lovely times!
By chance, I ended up attending a yoga+soul retreat over the summer with a group of maybe 12 other women. I expected to relax and to love the yoga – I didn’t expect to find so much goodness in the gathering and holding sacred space with other women. It was lovely.
When I returned from retreat, I missed that connection, so I attended a new moon circle for women. I had no real expectations, but sort of fell in love with it. Sacred space, astrology, oracle cards, meditation, journaling, heart shares…what an amazing thing to have in your life on a regular basis. What a great space to meet other people who may be a part of your soul tribe.
After the evening, I researched the organizer, and saw she’s part of the Wild Woman Project. My eyes immediately landed on “Wild Woman Project Leader Training” – the opportunity to be a part of it, to build these circles and help others connect. yes! a chance to use gifts, to give back!
And yet…I didn’t say yes.
and really, for good reason.
Some people struggle to be “yes” people. I am generally ALWAYS a “yes” person – even when it’s impulsive, not thought out, or super fast – I just go. That’s not always a good thing, and I am learning to sit with things, to let them evolve organically. To let things flow instead of forcing action everywhere.
So, I let it ride.
I attended a few more circle events. Within hours of the most recent one, I had a text from a friend asking if I had considered leading circles. I had. And, somehow, in the moment, I knew it was just time. I was in the flow, and the universe was nudging me. Synchronicity. It simply was, without having to ask again.
I did it. I signed up. For someone who signs up for new experiences often, you’d think I would just feel like it’s another notch on the belt, but it doesn’t. It feels important, and meaningful, and powerful. It feels like something that matters. I am a bit nervous. What if no one comes to Circle? What if people don’t think I do a decent job? What if I can’t help them connect, after all?
And yet, it excites me. So I follow the fun. Even though I’m a bit afraid, I want to do it, to put myself out there and do something a little scary. Even if it’s a total bust, I am learning a lot about myself, and connecting to my own heart, so it wouldn’t be anything to consider a failure.
But if my hopes align, women with big hearts and open minds will be drawn to the space. We will share, and build, and learn, and grow, and make soul friends, and celebrate great things, and express sad things, and maybe even dance. The current circle gathering is on the south side of the city, and I am hoping this one can build on the north side, so we’re surrounding the city in some terrific wild woman love.
So, that’s my next adventure. On we go…
I train through late November, and circles will be scheduled around each New Moon in 2017 at that time. If you feel called, I hope you will join one…